God, I feel like
it is highly inappropriate
for me to write this soon
It makes me look like a "push over"
like I can be easily controlled

YOU CAN BE

But
I don't want
EVERYONE
to know that

RELAX, CHILD
I HAVE MY PURPOSES
WHERE
DID YOU RUN TO
TODAY?

away
I thought that I could get "away"
from everything

COULD YOU?

no
After today I have concluded
that there is nowhere that I can run to
where my life does not follow me
You gave me a marvelous day
out of town
but my thoughts were of
things and people in town
and the mission
to come

SO
YOU MIGHT AS WELL
DO IT

WHERE
DID I TAKE YOU
LAST NIGHT?

I don't want to say

I TOOK YOU
TO THE FORMER CHURCH
AND SPOKE TO YOU
OF
MY PROMISES
FOR
THAT PLACE
YOU WERE TOLD
BY
THE PASTOR
LONG AGO
THAT YOU COULD RETURN
ANY TIME

He didn't mean it
He meant if I could come
without
my Anointing
I don't want to talk about
this tonight

DO YOU
THINK THAT
WILL STOP ME?

I can only hope it will
There is nothing to be gained
from going over old memories
You took me to the land again
and reminded me of the promises
for the youth
that will come there
I promised to be ready when You were
I asked for the faith to believe
that what You told me was true
Now, can we talk
about something else?

WHY
ARE YOU SO HURT?

I don't know
I just need to escape everything
today
I need to go someplace
and start new and fresh
I need help

I AM
HERE FOR YOU

But You go too deep
into things
that I don't want to write about
They are personal
and they bring forth emotions
that I don't want to face

WHAT
IS YOUR
MISSION, CHILD?

To love You

AND
THAT YOU DO
VERY WELL
I ALWAYS FEEL LOVED
BY YOU
EVEN
WHEN YOU
"ADVANCE"
AGAINST ME
EVEN
WHEN YOU BALK
AT MY PLANS
I KNOW YOUR LOVE
IS REAL AND DIVINE
BUT, DAUGHTER
SOMETIMES
I MUST GO DEEPER
TO BRING FORTH
REVELATION
TO YOU

WHY
DO YOU FIGHT
THE PLANS
SO MUCH TO RETURN
TO THE FORMER CHURCH?

You know better
than I do
I am simply not
the person to do the work there
They prefer men in leadership
that have good families
They prefer credentials
and people with money to give
to their programs
They prefer those
who will obey leadership
They prefer those
who will NOT stand for the Truth
They prefer
the quiet - the reserved - the clone
They prefer everyone
that is the opposite of me
Face it, my Friend
it will not work
I have tried for 5 years
to storm the walls
but my letters
are not even allowed
to be sent there
They are returned
to my doorstep
So, I suppose
if I ever showed up
on a Sunday
that I, too
would be escorted back
to my doorstep
The wall around that place
is tremendous
I can claim it for You
and believe that You
will trespass
but God I ask You
to use someone else
Someone that they will respect
Someone that they will listen to
Someone that they could honor

YOU
ARE THE ONE

That is impossible

DAUGHTER?

Yes?

I STILL HAVE 28 DAYS
TO PROVE IT

yep
I am so sorry
for my disbelief
but may I now tell You a story?
There was a man who came each day
to the same house with gifts
He came each day with just a smile
and a small gift
but this gift was not received
by the head of the house
because this man was not known
How could the head of the house
accept this gift from someone
he did not know?
Each day
the man came back hoping
that someday the head of the house
would believe
that it was a good gift
and that he was a man
truthful and honest
Finally one day
the man returned
once more to offer the gift
but the house lay in ashes
A fire had ravaged the house
and the head of the house
had escaped
but his wife and children
had died in the fire
He took the gift and threw it
as far as he could
for he finally knew
that there was
NOTHING
that he could have ever done
to convince the head of the house
that he needed this gift
The gift was
a smoke alarm

I know
that this story
is not
as good as Yours
but I am the man
that goes to the door each day
and tries to give a gift
that I think they need
They really need it
desperately
but for 5 years
I have been turned away
Do I have to wait for them
to lie in ashes
and the women and children die
before I stop going?
As I was told
to my face before
"Your gift is not from God"

God
they will not
receive from me
and I could not bear to watch
what will happen to them
when the Truth
finally hits them
I don't know what to do
I can't help people
that don't want help

AND
WHAT IF
THEY COME TO YOU
FOR HELP?

They won't
They are too proud
They would rather die
I once had a vision of a man
drowning
This man represented
a man in the church
I stood on the shore with
a life jacket
I yelled out
to ask if he wanted me
to throw it to him
and he yelled back
"I'd rather die!"
So, you see, God
I am not being just stubborn
I have stood at their door
for over 5 years and knocked
The door
will not open

I WILL
OPEN THE DOOR

It hurts worse
to walk through an open door
and then be "kicked out"

YOU
WILL KNOW
ACCEPTANCE THERE
YOU
WILL KNOW
LOVE THERE
YOU
WILL KNOW
YOUR TRUE DESTINY THERE
YOU
WILL KNOW
THAT I HAVE SENT YOU THERE
FOR A PURPOSE
THE HEARTS WHO ARE TRULY MINE
WILL REMAIN
TO GREET YOU
I WILL REMOVE
ALL ELSE
IT WILL TAKE TIME
BUT
I WILL MAKE A PLACE
FOR YOU

Will You
change my heart, too
my Friend?
You know that when I write You
it is always absolute Truth
and I would rather speak
Truth to You
than treat You
as if You don't already
know me completely
I know that You know my thoughts
and the intent of my heart
That's why I wish I didn't have to write
We have conversations all day
and sometimes all night
that I don't have to record
Why these?

WHY
INDEED?
BECAUSE
I AM
EXPOSING YOU
AND
THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT
BUT I DO IT
TO BRING YOU OUT
IN THE OPEN
YOU
WOULD
RATHER BE BEHIND
CLOSED WALLS
ALL YOUR LIFE
EXCEPT
AROUND CHILDREN
BUT CHILD
THERE ARE HEARTS
THAT WE MUST MELT
AND THIS IS
THE BEST WAY
TO DO IT

I am such
a "push over"
and my heart hurts this night
for I look back over
all the churches
all the prayer meetings
all the friendships
in the last 5 years
and there is
not one
that I can return to
not one
I do not blame You
I don't even blame myself
but I tell You
to look at the odds
of me being received
NOW
What are the chances?

AM I
A GAMBLER
THAT I SHOULD
GIVE YOU ODDS?

It does sound kind of funny
Sorry, God

THIS
WILL NOT BE
BY CHANCE
THIS WILL BE MY TRUE CHURCH
RISING UP IN TRUTH
WITH YOU
AT THE HEAD

I certainly don't want to be
at the "head"

IT IS
FIGURATIVE, CHILD
THE MOUTH IS IN THE HEAD, RIGHT?
YOU WILL SPEAK MY PLANS
TO THE PEOPLE
UNDERSTAND?

Yes
God, this whole conversation is simply
revealing how stubborn I am

AND HOW HURT

see Ya . . .

YOU CAN RUN
CHILD
BUT I AM STILL HERE
FOR YOU
I AM HERE FOR YOU
WHEN YOU HURT
ALWAYS
ALWAYS
 I AM HERE FOR YOU
THE TRUTH HAS TO COME OUT
BELIEVE ME
IT DOES


CHURCH # 6