Deep within me is a longing to know God. 

I am not satisfied with my shallow passions.  I want to be passionate about what He is passionate about.  I want to know what He is passionate about.  I am not satisfied with my shallow passion.  I want to know His Passion.

I ache that my heart would break for what breaks His Heart.  It is not enough that I am troubled by this world or things that get in my way.  I want to know what brings Him pain and sadness.  I want to feel His pain and cry along with Him.

I so enjoy the friendships and family and relationships of this world.  But I long for my Bridegroom!  I long to freely trust, to truly rest, to wholly love.  To know that I am known through and through—and loved without defect, still.  I long that I could know Him fully.  I pray for the day when nothing will come between us.

Oh God, purify my heart, change my heart, make me new.  For I want to know You.  As I am, I go astray, I seek contentment elsewhere, I fail to devote myself as I would.  As I am, I fail You.

I should find little ways each day to bring You joy.  I should unwaveringly gaze upon Your Countenance. 

Compassion and Mercy and Hope and long-suffering Love You have for me!  You died upon a cross that I might live.  Excruciating pain—You were whipped, spit at, mocked, deserted by Your friends, crucified as a criminal though You did no wrong, pierced through for me! 

I look upon the Cross and I . . . I fall to my knees.

I am Yours.  Oh, how I want to be Yours!  Make me Yours—unrestrained, without distraction, without compromise or deceit, complete with Your Love.

Be brutal, as You must.  Be thorough, do not delay.  Nail all of this thing called self to that rugged Cross; nail my sins, my failure, my mistakes, my fallen nature, my hopes and fears, my doubt and distrust, and all that is not love for You.

All I know is that I must know You.  All I ask, is that I would, with all that I am, and all that You want me to be.  Spare me not, though I cry out.  Though I fail and hinder the process, persevere with me.  Though I fight, fight for me.  Do not let me be.  Do not let me go.

I am Yours.  And You are Faithful to keep me.

But oh, that I would pursue You—with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength!

“To have found God and still to pursue Him is the soul’s paradox of love, scorned indeed by the too easily satisfied religionist, but justified in happy experience by the children of the burning heart.”

–A.W. Tozer, ‘The Pursuit of God’

Copyrighted material, used with permission.