I Believe in the Resurrection

‘Lost,

lost,’

my heart pounded in my chest

as I wept

for you

‘Lost,

lost,’

beat the heart that loved and bled and loved still

it beat in unremitting agony

as I laid you in the grave

and the memories began to fade

‘Lost,

lost,’

the pain kept steady rhythm

as I fought away the hopes and dreams

and struggled to breathe

‘Lost,

lost,

forever lost,’

whispered the lies

as I stood beside the tombstone

and waited

for better days

‘Lost,

lost,

I have lost!’

cried my thoughts into the stillness of death

the death of a loved one

But then I remembered the promise

the promise once spoken

‘Lost,

lost,’

flowed the constant tears

‘No, it is not true!’

responded incessant faith

‘How can that be?’

turned the thoughts of my mind,

‘I laid him in the grave

it’s over,

it’s over . . .’

and I bowed my head in shame

‘But no,’

cried faith once again,

‘this is not the end,

don’t you see?’

And then

face lifted heavenward

I said

almost as a plea

almost as a battle decree

for how hard I fought to believe

as my voice rose

weak

and joyful

over the barren expanse of weathered tombstoned graves

where loved ones lay,

“I believe in the Resurrection!”

I believe

Those loved ones are laid to rest

and I often feel as if I should bow my head in defeat

though it looks as though I have failed

though all seems lost

and impossible

as if my dreams and hopes will never be

as if my memories never were

though my knees grow weak

and I am so tired and battle weary

and I can only fall to the ground and weep

and I cannot see

I will cry,

“I believe in the Resurrection!”

and I will believe

Now Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.”

Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”

Martha said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” . . .

Then, when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”

Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. And He said, “Where have you laid him?”

They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.”

Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”

And some of them said, “Could not this Man, who opened the eyes of the blind, also have kept this man from dying?”

Then Jesus, again groaning in Himself, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. Jesus said, “Take away the stone.”

Martha, the sister of him who was dead, said to Him, “Lord, by this time there is a stench, for he has been dead four days.”

Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead man was lying. And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may believe that You sent Me.” Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth!”

–John 11:21-26, 32-43