“The road to hell is marked ‘heaven.’” 

–Unknown

I don’t want to be like the world.  I don’t want to live carnally, think carnally, speak carnally.  I despise the impurity.  I despise the idols and distractions and all that would turn me from God.  I despise the compromise.  I despise the wickedness.  I despise all that mocks God.  I despise all that so foolishly does not tremble at His Holiness.  I will not walk that way.

But I do not want to be like the church.  I do not want to bow to anyone but God; I will not bow to their rules, their agenda.  I will not limit God in order to fit in.  I do not want a God I can control.  I hate the lack of passion, compassion, all that stills my soul and makes me feel apathetic and like the dead.  I hate their blasphemy of what they do not understand.  I will not walk like them.

Here I stand between the worldly and the religious.  Here I am between the unrighteous and the self-righteous.  Am I alone?  Shall I strike a truce?  Or must I choose one or the other?  I would rather die.  And die I must.  For there is no balance between the two.  There is no peace through compromise or deals made.  For me, there is only death to both.  There is only the Victory of the Cross.

I need nothing but God and I know that He requires my all.  I want to walk as He walked.  I want His Life.  Choosing neither, walking alone, relinquishing all my rights to Him, losing my friends, leaving it all behind—this feels like death.  But it is the death I would rather know.  For I must know Him.  To say He is worth the cost does not explain it.

He is righteous and I am a sinner covered with His precious Blood.  He is life to that which once was dead.  He is God and I am not.  He is Love and all that is good.  He walked this way before and now I will follow Him.  I will fight the good fight.  I will speak and live truth to the last.  I love Him.  I will walk as He walked.  I will walk alone, dear friends. 

Oh, but am I alone?  No.  Never.  I see now that I was wrong.  “Alone” describes your way, not mine; it describes wide paths crowded with jostling people, not the steep and narrow way I climb guided, helped, and reassured by my Beloved who takes my hand and never lets go.

“Oh the sweet joy this sentence gives: ‘I know that my Redeemer lives.’”

–Samuel Medley

I know that my Redeemer lives.

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