I will lie down and surrender

I will relinquish my honor as a soldier

I will admit defeat

I will retreat

but no

I must believe

I must stand even when no one else will

I must fight even when my honor lies in the dust

I must remember all the victories won

I must not retreat from this battle at hand

I must believe

Sometimes this life steals my hope

and as if hope were the very air that filled my lungs

I desperately struggle and choke to take in more air

and I just cannot

Sometimes peace is so hard to come by

sometimes the storm blows its harsh winds

sometimes it blinds me

sometimes it pierces me

sometimes it frightens me

until I nearly forget the truth so easy to believe when skies are brilliant blue

and the birds whisper of freedom and springtime

Sometimes the pain feels deafening, blinding, suffocating

sometimes I am silent when I want to scream

sometimes I am quiet

sometimes I smile

when I only ache to shed the tears pent up deep within the wells of my soul

Sometimes I feel like a little child

lost in a battlefield

the arrows fly

the soldiers shout

the fires roar

the enemy closes in

and I am in the midst of it all

wide-eyed and wanting so badly to reclaim my innocence

hoping this is only a dream

and then wondering if my innocence was

Sometimes I wish for former days

sometimes I imagine the future and its possible joys

sometimes I long for one more chance

one more day without fear

one more song without sorrow

one more gentle touch to make me forget my scars

one more embrace by the sheltering arms of one I love

to tell me that I will forever be protected and guided with perfect wisdom through life

Sometimes I close my eyes

But now is not the time

there is a battle to be fought

there is a victory to be believed in

there is a victory to be won

that can only be won

by those who believe

oh, I must believe

I see the men of war

who fought before

in my minds eye

they break the front lines

the enemy strikes back

I catch my breath

but then

victory

somehow

and I wonder if they knew the victory was sure

and that is how

or why

they fought so valiantly

or did they just fight because it was right

and never stop to think

that perhaps victory was not so sure

I know one thing

I do want to be like them

I want to fight like them

I want to win like them

I want to believe with the faith that set captives free

made the blind man see

repented

forgave

loved

gave

embraced

hoped always

healed the suffering and the afflicted

opened prison doors

parted seas and crossed deserts and rivers

crumbled walls

sang until the streets resounded with the joyful song
of the persecuted

lived

died

burned

hung

fought

wept

for victory

for belief

to see, to believe with the One who calls us to believe,
to fight

even when it is impossible

I may be alone

for all my earthen eyes can see

I may be young

I may be weak

for all the enemy tells me

I may grow weary

at times, I may fail

but I will stand again

because I am not alone

I will believe

and because I believe I will fight

and because I fight I will rejoice

I will believe

“Hold God’s faithfulness” (Mark xi. 22).  Such we believe to be the purport of the three words of our Lord that in our version are rendered, “Have faith in God,” and in the margin, more literally, “Have the faith of God.”*

 

Man needs a creed, and will have one.  Here is an inspired creed: short, intelligible, and to the point.  It meets every man’s need, is suitable to every age, and to every country, and appropriate in every circumstance of daily life.  It bears on all man’s temporal affairs, it meets his every spiritual want.  To God’s faithfulness should we look for our necessary food—”Give us this day our daily bread.”  To Him, too, should we look for raiment, for He clothes the lilies of the field.  Every care for temporal things we should bring to Him, and then be careful for nothing.  To Him likewise should we come with all spiritual want, “That we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”  Is our path dark?  He is our sun.  Are we in danger?  He is our shield.  If we trust Him, we shall not be put to shame; but if our faith fail, His will not—”If we believe not, He abideth faithful.”

 

Want of trust is at the root of almost all our sins and all our weaknesses; and how shall we escape from it, but by looking to Him, and observing His faithfulness?  As the light which shines from the dark waters of the lake is the reflection of the sun’s rays, so man’s faith is the impress and reflection of God’s faith.  And more, the man who holds God’s faith will not cheat his neighbour, nor be faithless to his own covenants.  The man who holds God’s faith will not be foolhardy or reckless, but he will be ready for every emergency.  The man who holds God’s faith will dare to obey Him, however impolitic it may appear.  Abraham held God’s faith, and offered up Isaac, accounting that God was able to raise him up.  Moses held God’s faith, and led the millions of Israel into the waste-howling wilderness.  Joshua knew Israel well, and was ignorant neither of the fortifications of the Canaanites, nor of their martial prowess: but he held God’s faithfulness, and led Israel across the Jordan.  The Apostles held God’s faith, and were not daunted by the hatred of the Jews, nor by the hostility of the heathen.  The early Christians held God’s faith, and when the need arose, acted on the Lord’s command, “Sell that ye have and give alms,” and thus none had any lack.  “And what shall I more say, for the time would fail me to tell” of those who, holding God’s faithfulness, had faith and by it “subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.”

Satan too has his creed: “Doubt God’s faithfulness.”  “Hath God said?  Are you not mistaken as to His commands?  He could not really mean so.  You take an extreme view—give too literal a meaning to the words.  Then it is not quite true that such and such a result will follow.”  Ah! how constantly, and alas, how successfully, are such arguments used to prevent whole-hearted trust in God, whole-hearted consecration to God.  How many souls will be damned because they will not trust simply and solely to God’s saving love and power!  How many Christians go mourning, and lose joy, strength, and opportunities of helping others, because they do not hold God’s faithfulness!  How many estimate difficulties in the light of their own resources, and thus attempt little, and often fail in the little they attempt!  All God’s giants have been weak men, who did great things for God because they reckoned on His being with them.  See the cases of David, of Jonathan and his armour-bearer, of Asa, Jehoshaphat, and many others.  Oh! beloved friends, if there is a living God, faithful and true, let us hold His faithfulness.  If there is an eternity of bliss, of reward for those who love Him—if He will verily withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly, let us “Hold God’s faithfulness,” and walk worthy of Him.  If there is an eternity of woe, if “all have sinned, and are coming short of the glory of God,” let us seek to:

“Rescue the perishing,

Care for the dying,

Snatch them in pity from sin and the grave;

Weep o’er the erring one, 

Lift up the fallen,

Tell them of Jesus, the Mighty to save.”

. . . Holding His faithfulness, we may face with calm and sober but confident assurance of victory, every difficulty and danger.  We may count on grace for the work, on pecuniary aid, on needful facilities, and on ultimate success.  Let us not give Him a partial trust, but daily, hourly, serve Him, “holding God’s faithfulness.”

*For the rendering, “God’s faithfulness,” see Rom. iii. 3, where “the faith of God” evidently means His faithfulness.  The verb translated “hold,” is similarly rendered in Matt. xxi. 26, “All hold John as a prophet.”  In the corresponding passage in Mark xi. 32, it is rendered “count”; and in that in Luke xx. 6, a different Greek verb is used, which well illustrates the meaning; “They be persuaded that John was a prophet.”  Let us see that in theory we hold that God is faithful; that in daily life we count upon it; and that at all times and under all circumstances we are fully persuaded of this blessed truth.

–‘Hold God’s Faithfulness,’ by Hudson Taylor, from China’s Millions, Volume 1, Issue 1


Copyrighted material, used with permission.